Friday, August 23, 2013

Building good relationships - Part 4

If haven't read part 1, click here to do so before reading this post.

And now the last 2 facts are about biology.

Fact 7 :-
  • Men are always looking for physical attachments, but they actually get attached to their partner when they get attached emotionally,
  • Women are always looking for regular emotional attachments, but they actually get attached to their partner when they get attached physically.
What does this mean ?

Boys - if you are "just friends" to that girl you love, its because you have become emotionally attached to her but she is not physically attracted to you.

Girls - if your boyfriend is just interested in sex and not marriage, its may be because you have given him the physical attachment he desired, but he is not emotionally attached to you !

Men and Women, I hope that now you know your own and each other bodies better.

Now, the big question - how the hell these facts help you in your relationship ?

We will discuss this situation by situation - and you may extrapolate according to your best judgement.

But some pointers in short:-

  1. Do not justify your actions with excuses.
    By not fooling yourselves with excuses, you will do things that you really want to - instead of finding excuses and do things that you don't really want deep inside.
  2. Do no expect anyone to treat you "right". People will behave with you, as they seem fit for their own good. If you know this, you will handle your emotions better.
    :- that does not mean you become a cynic , expecting everyone to do wrong to you :P understand, its not about 'your' right wrong - its about 'theirs' right-wrong , which you can not control
  3. All concept of morality, right-wrong, justice are taught to you by a majority (known as society) . You can always choose to have your own concepts.
    :- Don't go against the social rules, just because its cool - or just because you want to be a rebel . Go against when you truly understand and believe otherwise, and are aware of all the consequences.
  4. Speaking of consequences, society will punish you, if you break social rules. Law will punish you, when you break the law. Remember this, when you do choose to do things that you like. Do not crib later on :P
  5. Men and Women are different - biologically , physically and psychologically and so are their needs.
  6. Last and the most important point :- This series was about YOU and only you , not your partner, not your friends.
    Do not try and teach your partner these facts. If you do, you have lost the point of this series. Keep this series about you and your interactions with the world.
50% of your relationship is about YOU. If you are not happy with yourselves, with your spouse or with the society, your relationships can never work.
Thats why this series is about you.
And, if you still just want the mantras on how to keep the other 50% happy, you can find millions on the internet :)

Lastly, remember one thing, life is bigger than a relationship. Irrespective of whether you have a good relationship or not - find your dreams, your goals, things that you like - find them. Remember, 50% of any of your relationships is about YOU.

Cookie :-

Rocky talking about world, excuses and life.